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Secret Cinema X. Tell No One: The Handmaiden review

Credit: (c) Secret Cinema / Al Overdrive

Secret Cinema has grown a lot from its humble beginnings in 2007. Now mostly known for its huge immersive productions that bring films to life, with notable experiences including Back to the Future and The Empire Strikes Back. Even right now Secret Cinema has an ongoing event that brings Moulin Rouge to life, ensuring London commuters are confused by the sudden influx of Parisian prostitutes and top hat wearing gents: although, it is London, so probably not.

With extensive lists of rules, items to bring, heavily encouraged dress codes, and sometimes even specific roles to take on, the experience can seem just as pretentious and threatening, as it is bizarre and exciting. After all, years of cinema going has often been a fortress of solitude where interaction is discouraged and you can slip into the darkness with only the sound of crunching popcorn to snap you out from the world on screen. I don’t go to the cinema to interact with people, and I certainly don’t go with a pre-prepared letter of devotion to give to a complete stranger.

Credit: (c) Secret Cinema / Michael Jershov

Secret Cinema X is generally a smaller scale affair than the big budget productions, but is even more daunting, as the film is kept a complete secret, with just a list of rules and clues to go by. So, dressed in a tux, with the aforementioned pre-prepared letter placed in my inner pocket, and a notebook to communicate with, as the night was conducted in silence, it was time to experience Secret Cinema for the first time.

Now the first issue revealed itself in the form of the film itself, Park Chan Wook’s The Handmaiden. Although only officially released today, the film has already toured in its director’s cut form, meaning the identity of the film wasn’t exactly a secret for myself, with the clues and guidelines being a tad too specific to be anything else (though I was hoping for a Fast and Furious 8 switcheroo). The film is amazing, as can be read in our review here, but having seen the director’s cut I can say that is a huge improvement over the theatrical version that was screened at Secret Cinema X. Mostly as the first big twist is revealed very early on in a clunky voice-over, as opposed to the slower and more surprising build-up in the extended version.

Credit: (c) Secret Cinema / Camilla Greenwell

But personal experience and film preference aside, the second you step through the doors you are transported to an unrecognisable world. The London street you were on just a second ago seems like a distant memory as you are lead to seats and directed around the venue by appropriately dressed servants carrying paper lanterns to light the way. Suddenly everyone around you is dressed in formal evening wear, and scribble frantically in notebooks to place their order at the bar. Once the master gave the signal, those in attendance were encouraged to approach a stranger and hand over their letter. It was uncomfortable, unnerving, and also very funny. The perfect way to sum up the film itself.

Meanwhile on stage actors perform little silent vignettes, which erupted into a full on dance of unsettling eroticism and contortionism, very much in keeping with the tone of the film.  And as that dance came to an end, the film began. Throughout its runtime, specific moments from the film were recreated on stage in mostly silhouetted form, adding a subtle but somehow rewarding layer to Park Chan Wook’s already very stylised feature.

Credit: (c) Secret Cinema / Camilla Greenwell

The evening certainly wouldn’t have been for everyone, but as someone who had previously seen the film, it was the perfect accompaniment. It added dimension and flavour, but I would imagine a more traditional viewing of the film would be best for first time watchers. The film itself is engaging and enthralling enough. Still, the amount of hard work and attention to detail cannot be understated. This was a quality production on most accounts, with only minor quibbles breaking the illusion: would the master really serve food in disposable containers? Certainly a feast for the senses without overshadowing the incredible art on screen, it was a restrained and subtle introduction to the world of Secret Cinema. Now, let’s get Demolition Man sorted so we can all struggle with the three seashells and get fined for swearing.

Luke likes many things, films and penguins being among them. He's loved films since the age of 9, when STARGATE and BATMAN FOREVER changed the landscape of modern cinema as we know it. His love of film extends to all aspects of his life, with trips abroad being planned around film locations and only buying products featured in Will Smith movies. His favourite films include SEVEN SAMURAI, PASSION OF JOAN OF ARC, IN BRUGES, LONE STAR, GODZILLA, and a thousand others.

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