While it’s not based directly on either of J.J. Abrams’ STAR TREK films, this franchise adaptation still boasts almost their entire cast; from Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto to Simon Pegg and Zoe Saldana. And, much like Abrams’ 2009 reboot, this – the twenty-third attempt at a STAR TREK console game in 34 years – opts for a simple, traditional title. But sadly, that’s about where the similarities between game and film end.
Offering an original story that supposedly sits between STAR TREK (2009) and its upcoming sequel INTO DARKNESS (2013), the game pulls from the deepest depths of Trekkie nostalgia to pit the modern crew against the good old-fashioned Gorn, who’ve stolen a weapon or something. If you don’t remember who they are, this video should give you a quick, hilarious reminder. Sadly, Namco Bandai’s attempts to bring them up to date as a viable enemy have been seemingly for nought, their execution blander than the interior decor of a beige wallpaper emporium.
This is a comparison true of most of the game; with animation and graphics that would have felt more at home on a PS2 or original Xbox, and the wooden dialogue to match. The game gives you the option of playing as Spock or Kirk, though whichever one you choose makes little real difference to how proceedings play out. Everything on offer here, from the villains and minigames to the weapons and locations, is so generic and repetitive that even the most die-hard of STAR TREK fans will have trouble caring past the first time you finally meet a Gorn (and it beats ten bells of shit out of you because you’re spending all your time healing a useless AI teammate).
Speaking of which, the AI isn’t just incompetent – it’s downright broken. One segment of the game sees Spock carrying an injured Kirk to a med bay, while Kirk covers his back with his phaser. Or at least, it would if Spock hadn’t gotten himself killed on the way to retrieving Kirk, leaving the good captain to get stomped on by a pesudo-velociraptor. Better hit ‘restart checkpoint’, then. This isn’t the only game-breaking glitch to be found, though – take, for example, Kirk’s occasional failure to draw his weapon, instead taking to comically pointing his fists at a confused lizard-man. (That said, there’s some fun to be had in manipulating these glitches or bugs – to, say, lock Spock out of a room, or never setting your phaser to ‘stun’ just to hear him plead monotonously for you to reconsider your actions.)
But even past all that, possibly the core problem with STAR TREK: THE VIDEO GAME is that it takes two characters known for their logical heads in the field of battle (well, at least in the case of Spock anyway) and turns them into bland infantrymen: shoot first, ask questions later. The game combines elements of UNCHARTED, MASS EFFECT and BATMAN: ARKHAM ASYLUM and comes up with an ugly, broken and generic third-person shooter, with combat so achingly dull that you’d get more enjoyment out of playing any of the aforementioned games and making the STAR TREK voices yourself. That’s a pretty good idea, actually…
STAR TREK: THE VIDEO GAME is out now on PS3, Xbox 360 and PC.
