Let’s face it folks, the TRANSFORMERS franchise started better than expected… at least when you consider that Michael Bay, who’s penchant for telling a story is considered a myth created by Heathen God’s of the popcorn industry, is directing. There’s been the good, the bad and the downright ugly. Like, so ugly it got smashed by the ugly bus… driven by the ugly driver and then robbed by the… anyway, you get the picture.
The point is, unless they called this new instalment TRANSFORMERS 3: SORRY FOR TRANSFORMERS 2 (it was always going to be a long shot I know) then it’s going to be hard to forget the past. What with all the mess and screeching and racial caricaturing that occurred last time… and stuff…
It’s been a topsy, turvy few years in the movies here; in the first one it had scenes that stank so heavily of Steven Spielberg that it almost felt like a re-run of POLTERGEIST and then, just when I was welcoming his influence, they went and let Bay do what the hell he wanted… TRANSFORMERS 2 was quite honestly the biggest let down of my summer. Not only did Megan Fox seem to continually be beading sweat but she also seemed to be sporting a trout pout for 90% of her shots. I can hear it now on set. Maybe it went like this:
MEGAN: You want me to do what? *tries to pout whilst leaning on something local*
MICHAEL: No… with more feeling, like you really want to pout because it’s just who you are inside…
Ms Fox (call me!), for those who don’t know, was probably fired due to her comments about Bay and his directing style during the press junket for REVENGE OF THE FALLEN. Calling the director “ Hitler”didn’t do her any favours I’m sure but the official story goes that she “ left the production”, depending on which agent you speak to.
After smashing up the 2009 box-office for all the wrong reasons, we now get the startling news that not only does Shia Laboeuf think that 3 “ is the best of the bunch” but that Megan has been replaced by a Brit who goes by the name Rosie Huntingdon Whiteley. So yeah, it turns out that they’re moving it to being a period piece set in Shropshire, the Transformers are the social classes as told through the eyes of the proletariat…
That’s a lie but here’s hoping that the gorgeous Rosie can inject a bit of class and charisma back in to this franchise. And yes guys, she’s very sexy here. ( see picture)
What has put my dampers on, even after seeing the awesome looking set photos and reading the excited buzz that surrounds the movie ( not due out until Summer 2011) was the title…
TRANSFORMERS 3: THE DARK OF THE MOON
Pink Floyd, despite the rumours, do not make cameos whilst jamming atop the Taj Mahal but again, I was hoping.
The main villain this time out will apparently be Shockwave (geek-gasm) and that the US and USSR will become involved in a space race which will round off the trilogy although I’m sure that with the money this is bound to make next year; that TRANSFORMERS 4: THE WATER THAT SITS UPON THE RINGS OF VENUS or something to that effect will be greenlit.
The point here is that TRANSFORMERS took itself too seriously in 2, it lost the fun and fleshed out sense of character in favour of something doomy and brooding… Probably in retrospect that’s because it’s the middle part of a trilogy (see TEMPLE OF DOOM and THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK if you are not familiar with this formula) and that 3 will see a return to the good old clattering battles and fun-time summer movie we all wanted last year.
