If
you are over 35, stay home. But you already knew that. If you are a fan of teens-meet-torturers
horror movies, and you have a shrine to Leatherface, this prequel does his family
name proud.
Yes,
I saw and liked the 2003 remake of the 1974 "Texas Chainsaw Massacre."
The original terrified me – the low, low budget made it all too real.
How
is a Leatherface made? Well, he starts off as an ugly baby thrown out in a slaughterhouse
dumpster and found by a crazy woman dumpster-diving looking for food. But it is
the woman's husband who really nurtures and guides Leatherface's personality.
We quickly go through a montage of photos of Leatherface growing up. His childhood
wasn't picture-perfect. He's hiding his face in all the photos.
Its
now 1969 and Leatherface is working at a slaughterhouse – a brilliant career
choice. However, when the town goes belly-up and everyone leaves, Leatherface
gets mad because he isn't given a severance package and hacks up his boss.
The
town's sheriff goes to arrest Leatherface and is killed by Leatherface's Uncle
Charlie (R. Lee Ermey). He tells his adopted son to bring back the body and serves
him up in a stew for dinner. He sets the tone by announcing: "We ain't never
gonna go hungry again."
See?
Leatherface is just trying to get along with his father. Uncle Charlie, who has
now christened himself Sheriff Hoyt, is the real monster. He's still fighting
the Korean War and intends to keep his family well fed regardless of the dire
circumstances of an empty town.
Why
kill animals when there are fine humans in automobiles who will stop for a cop?
Here
comes The Young, Stupid Victims. I forgave them their stupidity since it is 1969
and the dawning of The Age of Aquarius and Flower Power Love. They just do not
know how to deal with torture happy people. Its going to be years before "Wolf
Creek" and "High Tension" write the rule book for fighting back.
Rule
Number One no one ever follows in a movie: If you escape, don't go back for your
friends alone.
The
two uninteresting young couples are bland Chrissie (Jordana Brewster) and dull
Dean (Taylor Handley) and ordinary Bailey (Diora Baird) and someone named Eric
(Matthew Bomer). This is the fault of the screenwriter, not the actors. Dean has
done a tour of duty in Vietnam and is going back. He is forcing his younger brother
Eric to enlist with him. It's for his own good and we never find out why. Will
becoming a killer make him a better man? Get him a paycheck?
Chrissie
and Bailey are standard issue young girls who are carefree idiots without a clue,
but we are constantly told that Dean has been war hardened. Okay. He's the smart
one. He's killed before. He knows how to use a weapon.
Except
there is never a smart victim in U.S. made horror movies.
Sheriff
Hoyt starts off the killing spree by summarily killing a motorcycle chick who
stops The 4 Victims on the road. Sheriff Hoyt takes them back to the forbidding
House. And he has a good reason, though it is rather primitive. Let me explain.
"Probably
the most inhuman practice of all is to be met with among the tribes who deliberately
hawk the victim piecemeal whilst still alive. Incredible as it may appear, captives
are led from place to place in order that individuals may have the opportunity
of indicating, by external marks on the body, the portion they desire to acquire.
The distinguishing marks are generally made by means of colored clay or strips
of grass tied in a peculiar fashion. The astounding stoicism of the victims, who
thus witness the bargaining for their limbs piecemeal, is only equaled by the
callousness with which they walk forward to meet their fate." From "Cannibalism
and Human Sacrifice" by Garry Hogg. The section quoted is from "A Voice
from the Congo" by Herbert Ward, published in 1910.
Unfortunately,
the Chainsaw movies are inspired by a family who killed 33 people. And, this being
the prequel, you already know the outcome. But it is sadist Sheriff Hoyt who is
insane. Leatherface just doesn't have anyone to talk to. Will the Nam vet at least
put up a good fight? Does he have a war plan? Will anyone get away? Will someone
pick up a pipe and kill Mom in revenge?
There
was enough gruesomeness that at one point I just covered my eyes. Ugly, mean and
downright nasty in the bloody sadism of its torture, "The Beginning"
will not disappoint fans.
