Who's
In It: Mickey Rourke, Alex Pettyfer, Stephen Fry, Andy Serkis, Alicia Silverstone,
Ewan McGregor, Damian Lewis, Sophie Okonedo, Ashley Walters, Missi Pyle Who
Directed It: Geoffrey Sax
Year of release: 2006
Stormbreaker
(2006) Movie Review Reviewed by: Paul Heath
The
best way to describe STORMBREAKER is comparing it to James Bond, only this Bond
is just 14 years old, and he goes by the name of Alex Rider. The movie is based
on the novel of the same name by Anthony Horowitz, and is the first in a series
of Alex Rider novels, more of which are planned for the big screen.
So
what's it all about? Well, we meet Alex Rider in school. A normal kid, who does
normal kid-ish things. That is until his uncle is killed in a motor 'accident',
and Alex's world is changed forever. It seems that all of his life, Alex's uncle
Ian (but of a nerd named I know, but it's probably a nod to Ian Fleming- creator
of Bond), has been training Alex to become a spy, a job, unbeknown to Alex, he
has been doing his whole life. So, Alex is in fact a black belt in karate, knows
absailing inside out as well as sky-diving, and a hell of a lot more. So, Alex
is eventually recruited by a special branch of Mi6 to go undercover to see what
dodgy entrepreneur Darius Sayle is up to with his Stormbreaker computer, of which
is is just days away from launching in 70,000 schools across the country.
Sounds
pretty good doesn't it? It so could have been, but on almost every level STORMBREAKER
falls way short of the mark. It has a great cast, there's no denying that. Let's
reel them off; Ewan McGregor, Mickey Rourke, Damian Lewis, Bill Nighy, Stephen
Fry, Sophie Okonedo, Alicia Silverstone, Robbie Coltrane and even comedian Jimmy
Carr. Great cast, but what a ropey script. There was more cheese and plot holes
that you'll find in any block of Edam. Sure, there's action aplenty, but the only
scene that really impressed me was a brief scrap in a erm, scrap yard early on
in the flick. Even Ewan McGregor jumps ship and disappears before the opening
credits, Mickey Rourke does his best with what he's got, but it's hardly a push
for him. Jimmy Carr? What's all that about, and Sophie Okonedo looks so out of
place... I could go on an on; and I will. Stephen Fry has a fleeting cameo as
the 'Q' character, while Andy Serkis, who plays an ex-Circus knife thrower doesn't
even utter a word of dialogue, and he again is only in a couple of scenes.
The
film also seemed to move too quickly, and I don't think there was enough time
for any sort of character development at all. The film runs at just over 90 minutes,
and admittedly, there's a lot to pack in the movie from the best selling book.
I never thought I'd say it, but I think that this film could have benefited from
an extra 15 minutes or so at the beginning of the film. Granted, the filmmakers
were going for the shorter cut for a more child-friendly audience, but more development
with McGregor's Ian and Pettyfer's Rider was needed, and the two don't even share
a second of screen time.
I
will say that newcomer Alex Pettyfer did seem to pull off the role of Alex Rider,
and carried the movie relatively well, but I'm sorry to say that I don't think
that there will be many more of these flicks on the way any time soon, as this
just isn't good enough. The younger audience member may enjoy it, so that's why
I'm not going straight for the 'E' rating, but this is the worst time I've had
at the movies in ages.
