Night
of the Living Dead 3-D opens just in time for... Thanksgiving? What the hell!
Why didn't this open Halloween weekend? It hardly matters. Even if it would have
opened Halloween weekend, it still wouldn't have made any money.
This
is actually the second remake of the George A. Romero classic (the second one
was released in 1990 and came courtesy of make up effects wizard Tom Savini),
and it's clearly the worst. Even the almighty 3-D process can't save it.
As
the film opens, siblings Barb and Johnny arrive to a funeral and are immediately
plunged into a nightmare as they discover the dead have risen from the grave.
As Johnny is attacked, he does what any smart individual would do in this situation
- he jumps in his car and quickly drives away leaving his helpless sister Barb
to fend for herself. The young woman does manage to get away. After wandering
through the woods, she's attacked by a couple of zombies and is ultimately rescued
by a strapping young lad on a motorcycle. Together, the two make their way to
a ranch in the middle of nowhere where they team up with a pot grower and his
clan. Before long, they're joined by The Devil's Rejects' Sid Haig, an oddball
caretaker from the local mortuary.
Night
of the Living Dead is beyond lame. It self consciously tries to pass itself off
as a silly B-movie and can't even succeed on that level. What's more, there isn't
one scary moment in the entire picture, nor is there an ounce of gore (well, perhaps
an ounce, but that's it!). Even the 3-D gimmick (this is the old school red and
blue lens deal) fails to enliven the proceedings. Seriously, there are maybe two
moments in the entire picture when shit actually "comes at you" and
both gimmicks are clumsily executed. I thought at the very least the film makers
would be smart enough to showcase a naked bimbo co-star's boobs to their fullest
advantage, but they couldn't even get that right.
The
moment it's revealed that the owner of the ranch is growing pot, I thought maybe
the movie would turn into a bit of goofy fun, but it never does.
This
Night of the Living Dead comes with a sort of twist at the end but even it's horribly
conceived. The only saving grace in the movie is Sid Haig and he doesn't do anything
particularly memorable. But that's o.k. because hey! He's Sid Haig. I suppose
that's something.
Seriously
folks, this Night of the Living Dead isn't worth your time. The guy I watched
it with is a glorified pot head and even he thought it sucked. If you need a contemporary
zombie fix, stay home and rent Shaun of the Dead or Land of the Dead instead.
