American
Crime is another of the recent influx of straight-to-video horror flicks that
would seem to be geared to cash-in on the new found interest that the surprise
success of Saw has spawned. I’m sure that chronologically speaking this may
be somewhat inaccurate, but if you haven’t noticed, the shelves of your local
video store are sporting a bumper crop of serial slasher fare. A few of these
I’ve seen and are worthy of the reviews I haven’t quite got around to
writing - Madhouse and Toolbox Murders weren’t godawful enough to be ignored,
but a handful such as Starkweather and Love Object just to name a few will receive
the critical savaging they deserve if I get around to it. I will have to disagree
with Adam on Suspect Zero - recently released on video and well worth your time.
If
you’ve seen Saw you may be of the common opinion that it was a pretty good
thriller marred only by the terrible acting of the Princess Groom himself Cary
Elwes. If Elwes performance in Saw gave you the creeps, then be afraid, be very
afraid. Yes American Crime features the rapid return of Scary Cary and this time
everything else about the film is almost as bad as he is. In this stylized cheese-fest,
Elwes plays a slobbering host of a British Discovery Channel homicide investigation
knock-off “American Crime” that tries to play-out side by side with
the murders it is featuring. Sadly the film wastes the talents of Annabella Sciorra
as a lesbian news producer and Rachel Leigh Cook as a younger blonde lesbian crime
reporter. Along for the ride is Kip Pardue who plays a trigger happy camera operater
hell-bent on never turning off his camera.
American
Crime’s painfully inane attempt to layer video footage upon video footage
with a little bit of action that is not actually being videotaped is so much worse
than terrible that I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste my time or yours
belaboring it’s shortcomings. The film steals it’s chief premise from
David Lynch’s Lost Highway, but loses it’s way so badly that no one
is liable to even notice or care. The reasons one would not eject this crap immediately
are twofold. Number one, of course, is the lesbo action, although it doesn’t
amount to much (still it’s Annabella Sciorra grabbing the boobs so it does
have that much going for it.) The other reason to keep the disc in the player
is because you do become engaged in a challenge to see if you can guess the killer’s
identity. I suppose the other reason is the masochistic impulse to watch Elwes
completely ruin the one little glimmer of hope his career may have promised.
Beyond
the aforementioned flimsy reasons to watch this thing, in the sage words of Beavis
and Butthead, American Crime has found all new ways to suck.
