Those
of us that actually admit to liking the Friday the 13th franchise are usually
greeted with a look of absolute disgust. Recently, I went to Indio Ca. to catch
the Coachella Arts and Music Festival. On the way, my buddy Kyle and I stopped
in Las Vegas, at which point I suggested we see the new Jason X in a THX equipped
theater. Although I'm sure he thought I was out of my damn mind for being interested
in such a film, he humored me nonetheless. Of course about half way through the
horror epic, he ducked into the casino and dropped some money at the tables.
My
strange infatuation with Friday the 13th goes back to the early 80's when the
first film was released. Now I am a horror film junkie, and I'm the first to admit
that this series is a pale imitation inspired by the genius that is John Carpenter's
Halloween. Still, through the years I have grown quite fond of the films and look
at the character of Jason as an icon. While Jason Vorhees has no motivation whatsoever
(he is merely a killing machine hell bent on murdering anyone he comes into contact
with), I've always been somewhat amused by his creative killing methods. Don't
get me wrong! I am very much sane, but to me, these movies are very entertaining
in a goofy sort of way. So much in fact, that I even wrote a screenplay for a
Friday the 13th film back in the late 80's just for kicks.
It's
been over twenty years since Jason and his mother Pamela started wreaking havoc
on the visitors of Camp Crystal Lake. Jason X adds a nutty twist. This movie takes
place in the future and finds a field trip crew landing on a now uninhabitable
Earth. While touring through a research facility, they find a cryogenically frozen
Jason (Kane Hodder reprising the role for the third time). Like a bunch of morons,
they take the hockey-masked killer aboard their spacecraft. Shortly thereafter,
Jason defrosts and returns to his wicked ways. Along the way, he even gets into
a little scuffle with film maker David Cronenberg (The Fly, Dead Ringers).
What's
most amusing about this latest sequel, is it's hilarious premise. The film makers
know they are dealing with a series that has been beat into the ground repeatedly,
so they've decided to have fun with it. Jason X isn't so much a sequel as it is
a spoof of it's own ridiculous mythology. And fans of the series will be happy
to know that this picture does contain stupid characters engaging in seemingly
nonsensical sex acts. After all, what would a Friday the 13th be without gratuitous
copulation?
Director
James Isaac has created the best looking Friday the 13th. The sets are impressive,
and most of the picture was shot in digital. What hasn't changed? Pretty much
everything else. Isaac has populated this picture with familiar Friday the 13th
characters. This is to say that they are all stock and very uninteresting. It
should also be noted that the performances here, in typical Friday the 13th fashion,
are hardly convincing. Composer Harry Manferdini (who's scored the whole series)
is given brand new terrain but displays how limited he actually is with this boring,
laughable score (with exception of his signature trademark; chhhhh, chhhh, chhhh...haaaaa,
haaaa, haaaaa that seems almost as recognizable as John Williams' Jaws theme).
The
Jason X story line itself is rehashed Aliens and even contains bits and pieces
of other sci-fi projects such as Bladerunner and Star Trek the Next Generation.
It is painfully obvious that Isaac is a big fan of James Cameron and Ridley Scott.
But let's face it. He is a far cry from those legendary showman. Isaac has a long
way to go. At present, his directing style is clumsy to say the least. While Jason
X is deliberately silly, Isaac had an opportunity to do something creative here.
Alas, there is zero tension and zero scares. The mid section of this picture is
extremely sluggish, but the first and final acts make the movie moderately enjoyable
and are extremely light in tone. In fact, this entry is by far the most tame in
the series.
While
Jason X isn't without it's charms (there's a great gimmick in which Jason returns
to the Camp Crystal Lake of yesteryear via a Star Trek type holodeck), and continues
to strive for murdering method excellence (both a freaky liquid nitrogen sequence
and a duplicate of Jason's all time best kill are one for the record books) it
never manages to make full use of it's silly plot. Instead, the movie becomes
quite dull in series of poorly executed scenes that are unable to scare or shock.
Everyone reading is probably wondering why I'd be so long winded with this review.
After all, it's just a dumb slasher flick.
