I
can still remember watching classic B-monster movies with my mom when I was a
kid. Tarantula, The Creeping Flesh etc. We'd watch them all and love every second
of it. Those movies took themselves so seriously and at the time, they probably
were horrifying to a lot of people. To my mom and I, they were just silly fun.
I
had all the hope in the world that Eight Legged Freaks would be a return to that
type of film. Alas, this new spider flick tries way to hard to be funny and it
doesn't work.
In
Eight Legged Freaks, a small town finds itself under attack by enormous spiders
that become mutated thanks to a little toxic waste. The townspeople attempt to
fight back, but find themselves out-matched.
This
isn't really a film about character, although the film makers do try to give us
some insight into the townspeople. David Arquette is a quiet chap who's just moved
back into town after a ten year absence. He desperately wants to win the heart
of a woman whom he's loved for years, but every time he tries to tell her how
he feels, something prevents him from doing so. This includes the arac attack.
Eight
Legged Freaks actually opens up on the right foot. It totally has that campy feel
that I was expecting. The special effects are hokey. The spiders look super imposed,
but I liked that. As the movie progressed, however, I became increasingly bored.
This movie desperately tries to be a comedy, but the jokes are just not funny.
It also doesn't help that the action in this picture becomes very repetitious.
Eight
Legged Freaks was produced by Dean Devlin and it isn't without it's charms. I
dug the spiders and their actions and portions of the film feel a bit like a looney
tunes cartoon or a Joe Dante movie (think Gremlins), but eventually, the flick
just sort of loses it's way. It might have helped if they'd had a screenplay,
but I'm convinced that a big chunk of Eight Legged Freaks was improvised. In that
respect, I was reminded of Men in Black 2. This is just forgettable stuff.
For
those looking to be creeped out, you'll be sorely disappointed. Eight Legged Freaks
doesn't tap into our primal fear of spiders nor does it try to. It's just looking
to be a fun time at the movies. For me, it didn't work. I'd much rather sit at
home and rent Arachnophobia. Now that movie was fun.
