XXX: State of the Union Movie Review: By Adam Mast, ZBoneMan.com

XXX: State of the Union (not to be confused with God’s Army: States of Grace) breaks new ground in cinematic ridiculousness. There is so much to attack this movie for that it almost seems pointless to go into it -ALMOST!

In this sequel to the 2002 hit, Vin Diesel is nowhere to be found. Instead, hip hopster Ice Cube appears as Darius Stone, the latest bad ass to take part in the top secret XXX program. The ex-convict is now the ultimate warrior for the government, and in for the ride of his life as he attempts to solve the apparent murder of his boss Agent Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson), all while trying to put a stop to a fiendish plot that would allow the villainous George Deckert (Willem Dafoe) to become President of the United States.

I often talk about my preferring dumb action films that at least appear to know they’re dumb as opposed to the action films of the National Treasure variety. XXX: State of the Union is a big exception to this cardinal rule. There is such thing as too dumb, and this sequel certainly falls into that category.

I wasn’t a fan of the first XXX, but it was a godsend compared to this big, messy beast of action hokum. Firstly, I like Ice Cube. He has a certain way about him, and I quite often enjoy him in movies. In XXX however, I didn’t like him at all. He’s smug, and not nearly engaging enough to back up that smugness. His Darius Stone is supposed to be some kind of hip, urban James Bond, but Ice Cube doesn’t sell it at all. It takes more than a face of steel to sell this kind of tripe. You have to be smooth, and Cube is hardly smooth here. I suppose he looks good in the action scenes from afar but when he’s engaging in any sort of word play, the movie is dumb rather than hip. And Cube’s flirtatious moments with the various female characters in the movie, are...well....let’s just say Cube doesn’t sell those moments either.

The real guilty party here however (in addition to the so-called screenwriters) is director Lee Tamahori (Die Another Day). What the hell happened to this guy. Music guru Kyle England and I were just talking about him the other day. Tamahori started his career with the intimate and devastating Maori character study Once Were Warriors and has gone on to do very little worthwhile since. For the most part, he’s gone on to do forgettable thrillers like Along Came A Spider. He moves XXX: State of the Union along at a quick clip, but the movie is so outlandish, that I found myself shaking my head when I wasn’t laughing at the ridiculous goings-on.

The action sequences are sloppy and incredibly muddled, none more so than the climax in which Darius pursues a bullet train while speeding along in his high powered sports car. Where this sequence goes defies description. It is just unbelievably stupid, and has nothing on a similar climax in the infinitely more entertaining Mission Impossible.

XXX: State of the Union has done what I thought impossible. It’s actually worse than it’s predecessor. It’s big and loud, stupid and dull, and wouldn’t you know it? The ending is sequel ready and features a scene in which Samuel L. Jackson proclaims he has the perfect new XXX candidate. I’m hoping for Ron Jeremy.

Grade: D

Adam Mast, ZBoneMan.com