Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous Movie Review: By Adam Mast, ZBoneMan.com

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous should quickly be filed under the "sequels that never should have been made" file. Like Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde, it’s one of those painful follow-ups that has no purpose but to make a quick buck. I suppose this Sandra Bullock flick isn’t quite as dreadful as Legally Blonde 2, but at least the Reese Witherspoon dud was a sequel to a better, more likable movie. The original Miss Congeniality wasn’t that good to begin with and now, we’ve been subjected to the further adventures of a character who was never interesting at all.

In Miss Congeniality 2, tough cop Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock) finds it difficult to shake her recent celebrity status. It’s only been a few weeks since her infamous crime bust in the first picture, and everywhere she goes, she is recognizable - rendering her near useless in undercover cases. Before long, her department finds a more useful (or more congenial if you will)
position for her. Soon, Gracie finds herself involved in a new case revolving around the kidnapping of Karen Krantz, the crowned beauty from the first movie. Paired with bitter, tough as nails fellow cop Sam Fuller (played by Regina King in a role that has no relation to The Big Red One director), the two must set aside their world of differences and work together to foil the kidnappers.

Sandra Bullock used to have that sweet "girl-next-door" appeal. It worked for her in movies like Speed and While You Were Sleeping, but it doesn’t work much anymore. Her snorts and various pratfalls are meant to be endearing, but mostly, everything she does in this picture is either annoying or forgettable. Regina King is fun to watch as a "mad-as-hell-and-I’m-not-going-to-take-it- anymore" type but her character hardly serves a purpose, and after watching her scorching turn in Ray, this movie seems like a bad misstep for her. Only a goofy William Shatner is able to make the proceedings somewhat less painful.

The screenplay is bordering on atrocious. I don’t see how or why all the contributing parties wanted to be involved. The movie is neither funny or charming. What’s more, it’s rushed and clumsy. Take for instance the fashion in which Benjamin Bratt’s character Eric Matthews from the first film, is exorcized in this sequel. There’s a scene in the early portion of the film in which Eric dumps Gracie over the phone. It’s an unbelievable cheap shot - presumably included because Bullock couldn’t convince Bratt to reprise his role. Good going Benjamin. The movie ditches romance and instead focuses on the hostile attitude that Bullock and King have towards each other. Attitude we all know will inevitably change to a grudging respect by the end of the movie. (Had this dramatic change of heart resulted in a steamy lesbian scene, there might have been a reason to make this movie - no such luck).

There are many out there who will, no doubt, think I’m being far too hard on this movie. I’m first to admit that I’m not exactly Miss Congeniality 2’s target audience, but I have to tell you - it was borderline torture to sit through. Not because it was offensive or unfunny, but because there never seemed to be anything happening. They should have subtitled this movie Unarmed and Fatuous.

Grade: D

Adam Mast, ZBoneMan.com