Cursed Movie Review: By Adam Mast, ZBoneMan.com

Cursed is a fitting title for this werewolf thriller from veteran horror director Wes Craven and Scream scribe Kevin Williamson. For starters, the movie has been cursed with the (PG-13), meaning that Rick Baker (the brilliant maestro of make-up effects) is never really given the opportunity to show us what’s in his gruesome bag of tricks. And since the film, as a whole, is pretty mediocre, the effects were the only thing that might have saved it.

In this routine monster movie, Christina Ricci plays Ellie, an ambitious young woman who works as an assistant at The Craig Kilborn Show. (talk about “Cursed”). Jesse Eisenberg plays Jimmy, her younger brother, a nerdy teenager who’s at the lower end of the social food chain in high school. Late one night while driving home through the twists and turns of Mulholland Drive, a strange creature bolts in front of their car, sending them barreling head-on into a car coming from the other direction. During an attempt to pull a scared woman (Shannon Elizabeth) from the wreckage of her mangled vehicle, Ellie and Jimmy are attacked by the very creature that caused the accident. As days pass, these siblings discover new found energy, a passion for meat, and a violent allergic reaction to silver.

What happened to Wes Craven? This is a film maker responsible for truly iconic works of horror (see Nightmare on Elm Street, The Hills Have Eyes, or Last House on the Left), but here, he appears completely uninterested in the material. I can’t say that I blame him for that, Kevin Williamson’s screenplay is pretty lacklustre, and is all-too-self conscious in his attempt at fusing horror with pop culture references (Scott Baio even appears in the film – how many “kitsch” points do you give for that?). This picture even has the balls to make references to the original Wolfman, as if it were some sort of tribute to the Lon Chaney Jr. classic. This alone is enough to bring about some sort of curse - look out Craven and Williamson! The nerve. Cursed ‘does’ offer up a couple of twists, but they’re not surprising, and what’s more, the movie scarcely delivers any decent scares.

Furthermore, I’m getting very tired of Williamson’s homosexual grandstanding. Say it once, say it loud, he’s gay and he’s proud. Alright Kevin! We get it. It’s fine, but can you be a little more creative with your character development? The revelation that one of Cursed’s main characters is gay is so obvious and so lame that it serves as nothing more than a distraction. It doesn’t even work in a humorous, satirical sort of way. It’s just dumb. I’m all for a heroic gay character in a film, as long as that character is serving the story and not penciled-in for blatant P.C. posturing.

Beyond that, Cursed is a dull attempt at rekindling that old werewolf mythos that worked so beautifully in the 80's in films like An American Werewolf in London and The Howling. Those movies masterfully tread the fine line between true horror and hilariously biting satire. This movie by comparison isn’t nearly as fun and it fails as both a horror film and a teen angst/high school picture.

For all of Cursed’s real life victims (including those who pay to see it) it is Rick Baker whom I feel the most sorry for. Rick, my heart goes out to you man. You are a truly amazing effects artist, but no one will see it in this picture. Hell, the one transformation sequence we ‘do’ get is a boring, half-assed, CGI cheap shot. I sure hope your stuff finds it’s way into the DVD version and features.

Don’t waste your time with the howlingly dumb Cursed. Stay home and rent the underrated Ginger Snaps instead. As far as werewolf pictures go, it’s much more creative and infinitely more witty.

Grade: D+

Adam Mast, ZBoneMan.com