White Noise Movie Review: By Adam Mast, ZBoneMan.com

White Noise is a disposable thriller that suggests it might be an original entry in the horror genre, but in fact is nothing more then a rehashed scramble of superior pictures including The Ring and the underrated Mothman Prophecies. It even stoops so low as to borrow elements of movies that weren’t that good to begin with (i.e Dragonfly). Still, White Noise could have been much, much worse, but manages a small dose of class thanks to star Michael Keaton who doesn’t do nearly enough movies these days.

White Noise delves into a phenomenon known as EVP (Electric Voice Phenomena). The strange term suggests that the weird static you might hear through your TV or radio also serves as a conductor to the afterlife. Michael Keaton is a grief stricken Jonathan Rivers, a man whose life is opened up to the bizarre phenomenon when his wife disappears without a trace. Not quick to buy into the supernatural, Rivers soon becomes a believer when his loving spouse begins sending him messages through a television set. Of course, she isn’t the only one reaching out. In films of this nature, there’s always another element, and in White Noise, that element isn’t very nice.

This is one of those movies in which questions are always answered with another question, and by the end, I was questioning what the hell I just saw. It doesn’t have the tone, or the creepy sensibility that a movie like The Ring has. It just lumbers along from one scene to the next coasting on an idea instead of exploring that idea.

White Noise is as an all too familiar horror tale. That would be fine if the movie were more engrossing, and I suppose the first fifteen or twenty minutes actually are. As Rivers attempts to find out what actually happened to his wife, and is first introduced to the EVP theory, the film is somewhat intriguing. Quickly though, White Noise turns into a repetitious mess, and leads to a lame finale in which we find that it isn’t only evil spirits wreaking havoc.

Through it all, Michael Keaton handles the proceedings like a trooper. He’s a terrific actor – even in crap like this. His bereived Jonathan lends dramatic weight to a picture that really doesn’t deserve it.

Director Geoffrey Sax uses just about every hackneyed tactic in the horror cliche handbook - including cheap scares and flashy editing. Unfortunately, what he doesn’t use is the plot. EVP could have been an interesting premise for a movie, but in White Noise, it’s silly rather than scary. And talk about weak execution. There are shots here that make absolutely no sense. The very last frame of the movie is particularly bad, and features one of the film’s major characters being startled by . . . something. It’s just horribly executed. To make matters worse, the ending of White Noise is sequel ready and reminded me of the final moments of the highly overrated The Grudge.

White Noise is dark around the edges and has a fair share of grim moments, but it never engaged me in the slightest. About a half hour in, I really didn’t give a crap what EVP is. I just sat there wishing that Michael Keaton had held out for a better script. He AND his fans deserve better.

Grade: D+

Adam Mast, ZBoneMan.com