Yes, I've seen Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. It took me a little longer than I thought it would to write this piece. Before getting to the actual review, here's a brief look back at Indy's first three adventures. This way, you know where I'm coming from.

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (PG)

Raiders of the Lost Ark is a masterwork. A timeless piece of pop entertainment that will forever be one of my all time favorite films. Harrison Ford's first adventure as archeologist Indiana Jones is completely grounded in reality save for the horrific climax in which a pack of villainous Nazis have there faces melted off by the supernatural force unleashed from the Ark of the Covenant. Beyond that, even the craziest of actions sequences are completely plausible. The highlight; a breathtaking truck chase sequence in which a determined Indy sets out to retrieve the Ark from the bad guys. After being thrown through the windshield by the heavy, Indy slides underneath the truck and re-enters from the rear and takes his revenge in this visual dazzler. Holding the entire film together is Spielberg's taut direction, Lawrence Kasdan's wonderfully energetic script, and Harrison Ford's everyman portrayal of one of cinema's greatest heros. This film never gets old.

Grade: A

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM (PG)
While this film was met with hostile reaction from many critics, I liked it's hyper kinetic energy. The film is bogged down by an irritating female lead (Kate Capeshaw's whiny Willie Scott) but Harrison Ford brings his A-game and he gets a nice little assist from side kick Short Round. The film also trades in realism for outlandish action including an absurd jump from an airplane and an exciting but over the top mine car chase. Still, this flick does offer up the franchise's scariest villain in the form of the evil Mola Ram, and the second half of the picture moves at break neck speed. Also, big time props to the film's opening action set piece in ShangHai. Not only do we get to see Indy in a tux, but we get to see him inadvertently punch a woman. On a side note, the events in this picture actually predate the events in Raiders by one year, so I guess you might call it a prequel.

Grade: B

INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE (PG-13)
In many circles, this film is even more despised than Temple of Doom. For my money, it's more in keeping with the structure of Raiders. This isn't to say that it doesn't stray a bit. Jeffrey Boam's screenplay, which features Indy reuniting with his estranged father in hopes that they might find the Holy Grail, does offer up a little too much comical banter between Indy and his dad (played by a terrific Sean Connery) and some of the action is a bit ridiculous (watch as a plane gunning for Indy and his dad, flies too low to the ground and gets it's wings clipped as it crashes through a tunnel). Furthermore, the film reduces Marcus Brody to a bumbling buffoon and Sallah to a wisecracking sidekick. Overall though, the pacing is perfect and the movie has a lot of heart. On a final note, the big tank sequence is a thriller. A stronger entry than the darker, pulpier Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Grade: B+

Which brings us to...

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (PG-13)
Starring Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Cate Blanchett, and Ray Winstone
Released by Paramount Pictures

I really hate the word "critic." It tends to be such a dirty word. For example, check out this little quote from Indiana Jones co-creator George Lucas; "We didn't make this movie for the critics." Is Mr. Lucas suggesting that because I write movie reviews, the latest Indiana Jones film isn't for me? If so, it's an odd statement given that Raiders of the Lost Ark is partly responsible for my love affair with movies. Besides, I had high expectations for Empire Strikes Back and that film didn't let me down. If anything, my passion for Indiana Jones is deeper than that of the casual film goer. Hell, I even passed on a press screening of this film because as a big time fan, I wanted to experience this flick with other fans. It's not my fault that Lucas and Spielberg, most notably Spielberg, raised the bar for summer blockbusters. It is because of films like Star Wars and Raiders, that I set these guys at a higher standard.

Having said that, I concede my expectations for this little summer movie were sky high, even higher than they were for the Star Wars prequels, and that, as much as anything else, contributed to my grand disappointment in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. As a true fan (I even went so far as to wait several hours in line just to rekindle the magic of my youth)I couldn't help but feel let down as the end credits rolled. And in fact, I gotta tell you, waiting in line and waxing nostalgic with friends and strangers alike ultimately proved to be more joyful than the movie itself. Am I suggesting that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is nothing more than a steaming pile of dog shit? Hardly. There's actually quite a bit in the film that I enjoyed but unfortunately, for much of it's two hour and five minute running time, the bad made it extremely difficult to enjoy the good.

As I sat there in the darkened theater waiting for the film to start, I was quivering with excitement. "Holy shit!!!I'm about to see Indiana Jones back in action!!!! Is this a dream, or is it really happening?" The lights finally dimmed and, after what seemed like an eternity's worth of trailers, the film began. The opening moments of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull made the hair on my neck stand on end. Not surprisingly, the movie starts with the famed Paramount logo cross dissolve. I must say, this particular cross dissolve was bizarre but extremely creative. Immediately following, we get a nice little roadster homage to George Lucas' own American Graffiti, and then the movie springs into action. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull opens in 1957 Nevada. A weathered Indiana has been kidnapped by a squad of villainous Russians, headed by Irina Spalko (played by Cate Blanchett). The part time teacher is whisked away to a most familiar location in the Indy franchise canon (particularly familiar if you're a fan of Raiders of the Lost Ark). It is in this isolated location that the Russians force Indiana to aid them in a search for something that will set the rest of the plot into motion. What follows is a series of adventures that take the older but no less agile archeologist from Connecticut's Marshall College, to the dark jungles of Peru. During his quest for the elusive Crystal Skull, Indy teams up with a rebellious greaser name Mutt (played by Shia LaBeouf), spunky ex-flame Marion (Karen Allen of Raiders fame), and long time colleague Mac (played by Ray Winstone).

There's quite a bit to cover here. Let's start with THE GOOD. There's no better place to begin than with the incomparable HARRISON FORD. Ford has taken a beating in the past few years appearing in a string of forgettable films including Random Hearts, Hollywood Homicide, Six Days Seven Nights, and Firewall. And how about the one that got away? He was actually offered the Michael Douglas role in Traffic, but for whatever reason, he turned it down. Suffice it to say, Ford was in dire need of a comeback, and what better comeback vehicle than one of his most famed characters. I'm happy to report that Harrison settles back into the role of Indiana Jones with graceful aplomb. He's a bit more grizzled, but his playful, witty sense of humor is still completely intact and he can still kick ass with the best of them. And how about that awesome movie star face. Even at 65, he's still got that classic movie star face. And there's nothing cooler than watching a movie star face get punched. Indy takes as good as he gives. Yes, Ford is Indiana Jones. Even when screenwriter David Koepp appears to be sabotaging the proceedings (there are too many scenes here featuring Indy as an observer or a mere bystander), Ford manages to shine through. And he's still in great shape. He does some crazy shit in this movie.

SHIA LABEOUF. For whatever reason, there appeared to be a lot of Shia hating going on while this movie was in production. I don't get it. I like this kid. His quick witted nature is a perfect match for Ford, and ultimately his greaser Mutt proves to be a nice addition to the franchise. He even manages to bring a few moments of welcome dramatic depth to the proceedings.

KAREN ALLEN. Having Indy's strongest heroine back in action was most welcome. Not only does Allen look like a million bucks, but she still has a little bit of that old feisty attitude left. If only her role here was as pivotal as it was in Raiders. Still, I suppose a little Marion Ravenwood is better than none at all.

STEVEN SPIELBERG. Say what you will about the world's most celebrated film maker, the Beard (as he is often called), knows how to shoot a movie. Unlike guys such as Michael Bay, Spielberg allows you to see what's going on. His Peruvian jungle chase is made all the more exciting because it wasn't cut to shreds in the editing room. Much of the action is delivered in long, sweeping master shots. Equally impressive is the Mutt/Indiana motorcycle chase across the Marshall College campus. It's too bad the later sequences are spoiled by obvious CG effects shots. More on that later. As for Spielberg, it's clear that his boyish sense of awe is still very much alive and well when working on films of this nature.

THE SOUND EFFECTS. One of the key ingredients in the Indiana Jones pictures are the kick ass sound effects. All are back in full force. Most notably, the sound of the cracking whip and those amazing punching effects. There's a great sequence in which Indy gets in a scuffle with a Soviet baddie. As they pummel each other with their fists, I was instantly taken back to that great airplane sequence in Raiders. Ben Burtt is a sound effects genius and it's great to have him back.

JOHN WILLIAMS. Truth be told, it's the updated versions of the old Raiders march and Marion's theme that really sent a shiver down my spine. They still work like a charm. Quite honestly, the new elements of the score were not entirely noticable. At least not after one viewing. Still, Williams is one of the greatest film composers of our time and I'm greatly looking forward to picking up the soundtrack.

THE NOT SO GOOD

THE McGUFFIN. The MacGuffin is the object that propels the plot into motion. Putting it mildly, the Crystal Skull is the weakest MacGuffin in the entire franchise. Not only is the Crystal Skull's physical appearance dull, but the search for it and the subsequent returning of the object to it's original place of origin is equally bland. Furthermore, the inclusion of this MacGuffin takes Indy in a very strange and disconcerting direction. The climax of this picture is more X-Files than Indiana Jones and I gotta tell you – it really left a bad taste in my mouth. Would we be so forgiving if Mulder and Scully discovered the Ark of the Covenant at the end of X-Files 2? I think not. The Ark and the Holy Grail worked because they were tangible items. Real life artifacts from the history books. Even the Temple of Doom's Sankara Stones had spiritual meaning. All of these MacGuffins kept the Indy films firmly grounded in reality. The Crystal Skull breaks this trend. This isn't to suggest that there aren't other life forms out there, but certainly as presented in Indiana Jones, this MacGuffin simply ups the film's camp factor. A stronger MacGuffin would have made all the difference in the world. Here's a novel thought. Why didn't they go after the Ark again? Some might argue, if you'll pardon the pun, why go to the same well twice? To that I say why the hell not? It's not like Lucas is below this conceit. After all, he brought the Death Star back in Return of the Jedi. Further more, the rest of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull felt like all too microwaveable. They even brought back Marion Ravenwood. A supporting role by the Ark of the Covenant would have been a perfect fit. It would have brought the entire series full circle.

DAVID KOEPP. Koepp was left with the daunting challenge of writing a movie for both the fans and for folks who might not be familiar with the character. Ultimately, this is a stand alone film and I can see why Spielberg and Lucas didn't do marathon screenings the day this movie opened. It's because it doesn't really fit into the grand scheme of things. I'm talking in a tonal sense. The majority of what doesn't work in this film lies in the hands of Koepp's boring script. Right up front, I want everyone to know that I'm not a Koepp hater. I like a lot of stuff he's done including War of the Worlds, a Spielberg film that many have complete disdain for. Having said that, this is not one of Koepp's better efforts. Indiana Jones is about adventure, and somehow, Koepp found a way to leech the peril out of the proceedings. All the familiar elements are there; exotic locations, bigger than life action sequences, ruthless villains, a welcome heroine, and, of course, Indy himself. Sadly though, it's hard to enjoy "the journey" when it doesn't really amount to anything.

I suppose it's not entirely fair to put all the blame on Koepp. The story, after all, did come from George Lucas' noggin. Still, Koepp doesn't do anything to rise to the challenge. He had a golden opportunity what with the return of Marion Ravenwood and she doesn't even turn up until nearly halfway through the movie and while the Ravenwood/Indy reunion is a most entertaining one, it quickly loses meaning because of the rushed and underdeveloped shenanigans that follow. The same could be said of the Indiana/Mutt dynamic, a pale redo of Indy and Henry Jones Sr.'s relationship in the Last Crusade. True, much of the banter in Last Crusade was a little too comical, but the timing was great and there was a real relationship there. Here, Ford and LaBeouf work wonders with the timing, but the dialogue is far more pedestrian and the relationship angle . . . well . . . let's just say it isn't very well done.

Koepp doesn't exactly manage to breathe much life into the supporting characters either. Ray Winstone appears as Mac, Indy's shady colleague. His whole role is bordering on pointless, and his game playing is incredibly redundant. Cate Blanchett's Irina Spalko is the most underwhelming of Indiana Jones' adversaries. It's not for lack of effort on Blanchett's part. She jumps right in putting a high camp spin on the part, but there's just nothing particularly memorable here. I guess the villains in the Indiana Jones series have never been that developed, but at least some of them have been either interesting or a little scary (see Belloq, Toht or Mola Ram). Spalko isn't in the same league. Not even close. John Hurt's Professor Oxley is, perhaps, the most unnecessary character in the film. I suppose it is his disappearance that prompts Mutt to seek Indy's aid in the first place, but beyond that, Hurt's Professor Oxely is virtually irrelevant. He just stands there, mute, in the back ground. Incredibly discouraging because he's such an amazing performer and when I heard he was in the movie, it was another reason to get excited – particularly when I heard he might be playing Abner Ravenwood - Marion's supposedly dead father.

Alas, that ended up being false information. Which brings us to another thorn in this screenplay's side. A severe lack of surprises. I'm not simply referring to Earth shattering revelations - of which this movie only has one, and even it was spoiled months ago. I'm referring to the element of surprise. There was never any moment during this picture when I wasn't a step ahead of it. Hell, I even managed to stay a step ahead of Indiana himself and that's unheard of. And it all comes to a crashing halt in the double ending. Firstly, there's the resolution of the Crystal Skull mystical mumbo jumbo. Or should I say, lack there of. The entire climax comes to a resounding thud. I wasn't bothered by the ambiguity of the proceedings or the fact that hordes of Mayan warriors begin appearing out of nowhere. That all would have been fine had there been a shred of tension or a hint of meaning woven in. Instead, we get a really stupid, unaffecting effects laden piece with Spalko and another intrusive CGI sequence in which a few key characters are privy to what lay beneath temple grounds. Worse still, the movie doesn't end. Instead, Spielberg gives fans a final scene that should have completely won us over. Only it doesn't work at all. At least not for this rabid fan.

Why? Well for starters, I don't think Crystal Skull earns this ending. And it's all due to a severe lack of character development. Furthermore, Mr. Koepp has traded in the genuine feel of Raiders for a campy, uber cartoonish sensibility that didn't work for me at all. I can recognize that all the films in the series have their goofy, slapstick moments, but Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is plagued by them. Watch how Indy outwits an atomic blast. See what happens when Marion runs a military vehicle off a cliff. Witness what occurs when four major characters go over not one, not two, but three waterfalls. Where's Wile E. Coyote when you need ACME acting? Seriously! Koepp also finds plenty of time to throw in annoying little winks to Indy fans, thereby beating into their heads that he knows these films inside and out. There's a stupid sequence in which a statue of Marcus Brody falls atop a villain's car, and another in which Indy has an encounter with a snake. To his great credit, Ford plays this moment extremely well even though the scene itself is unbelievably silly. Of all the odes to the Indy films of old, the one that works best takes place in the first fifteen minutes of the movie. It involves a cameo by the franchise's most beloved artifact. Beyond that, it's difficult to tell which beats and moments came from which creative source.

It's clear that the bond between Mutt and Indy was inspired by the real life issues George Lucas had with his father growing up. I like to think the film's most ridiculous scene, an inane tribute to Tarzan in which Mutt swings through the jungle, aided by a pack of CG monkeys, was Koepp's idea. The notion that Spielberg came up with that one is too much for me to bear. Finally, by setting the film in the 50's, Ford is allowed to play his actual age (a trait in the script I really liked) and the story brings into focus Cold War paranoia. The problem with the decade switch, is the jarring tonal shift. Lucas felt that if the first three Indy films were a homage to the cliffhanger serials of the 30's, that this film should be more of an ode to the sci-fi B-movies of the 50's. Again, this notion didn't set well with me at all. The whole thing is just rather messy. What I wouldn't give to read Frank Darabont's take on Indiana Jones. I'll bet it's infinitely better than Koepp's.

CGI. While Spielberg was hard at work on Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, it was reported that the majority of the film would use practical effects as oppose to CGI. The problem is, the CGI shows in all the wrong places. There's nothing seamless about the intergration here. When watching Raiders, it's easy to believe Indy's sliding under that truck because he's actually doing it. There are certainly exciting visuals to be found in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull but more often than not, the visible seams in the CGI take you out of the moment. For those who scoffed in Temple of Doom when Indy, Willie, and Short Round jumped out of that plane in a raft, or for those who laughed aloud when that mine car jumps the rail, flies through the air, and lands right back on track, you'll have a field day with this film. It's gone from a stretch to flat out cartoonish. Even the wonderfully creepy killer ant sequence is hindered by the obvious CGI effects. In the good old days, if Spielberg and crew needed snakes, bugs, or rats, they'd go out and get the real thing. I'm not suggesting that Spielberg should have run out and got himself some real live Bull Ants, but you get the general idea. In this day and age, it may not be as cost effective to get the real thing, but cinematically speaking, it sure would look cooler.

STEVEN SPIELBERG. I worship at the alter of Steven Spielberg. As you've noticed, I've already praised him in this review for his inventiveness and showmanship. Now, for the flip side of the coin. First and foremost, I find it increasingly difficult to believe that he actually approved this shooting script. After twenty years, this was really the best they could come up with? Koepp's cobbled together screenplay is so mediocre it doesn't even feel like a first draft. It feels like a unfinished outline. Aside from being a gifted storyteller, Spielberg's strongest attribute has always been his ability to make great projects better. Sure, he's offered up the occasional misfire (see Hook), but never has he appeared so out of touch with the fans. If he were in touch, I don't believe he would have approved Koepp's screenplay. And why not throw Sallah and Short Round into the equation. Certainly, there was room for these beloved characters in the film's rushed and labored final scene. I'm sure fan demand has weighed heavily on Spielberg for the last decade or so, but doing this film just to do it has proven to be a disappointing and nearly pointless endeavor. I would have gladly waited another ten years had the end product been more memorable. It isn't that he's made a bad film. It's just a painfully unnecessary one. The entire movie lacks rhythm. There are individual moments worth noting (i.e. Indy looking up at the mushroom cloud, that awesome fist fight between Indy and that Soviet villain) but as a whole the movie comes up painfully short. There are certain sequences that have rhythm, but, on balance, it's almost heartbreakingly sloppy.

Furthermore, this Indy adventure is over bloated. If Spielberg had gone any further, it might have played like a parody. In that regard, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull sort of reminded me of The Lost World, although, thankfully, this picture isn't nearly as joyless as that one. Sometimes, less is more. Spielberg knows that better than just about anyone in the industry. I'm not going to call out George Lucas because I believe Spielberg really could have made the difference here. Perhaps Spielberg's title of Summer Movie King should be handed down to a more hungry film maker with something to prove. I still prefer a sub par Spielberg summer film to the likes of Transformers, but in the end, I'd rather see this iconic director continue to evolve. Now that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is out of his system, he can move on with Lincoln, Tintin, and Interstellar.

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY. I'm sure I'll take a beating for this one. The truth is, I'm a huge fan of frequent Spielberg collaborator Janusz Kaminski. I think he's one of the best cinematographers working in the business today. The problem is, I don't know that he was the right fit for this movie. There are a couple of vintage moments here, none more impressive than Indiana's iconic silhouette shot on the side of the military jeep. The rest of the time though, I didn't like the lighting choices. Too bright, and too blown out. That's not Indiana Jones. Unfortunately, Douglas Sloccombe, the man who shot the first three movies, is now retired. Kaminski is a genius, but I maintain he wasn't the right man for this job.

So as you can see, the good stuff is definitely weighted down by the not so good stuff. I'm sure that there are plenty of folks that will dig this movie and there's nothing wrong with that. It's dumb fun. For me though, it's a disappointment. As far as I'm concerned, Indiana Jones should be much more than dumb fun. Ultimately, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull plays like a greatest hits package. The story structure is very Raiders while the outlandish and cartoonish nature of several of the movie's key action sequences immediately remind one of Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Doom. Finally, the comical banter between Indy and Mutt recalls similar such banter in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Unfortunately though, this film can't muster the previous films' rhythm or energy. Too much here is either forced, rushed, or just completely over the top.

In a piece I wrote on Indiana Jones recently, I stated; "I desperately want Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to measure up. Hell, I'll settle for half as good." Well, I got my wish. At least where the second part of that sentence is concerned. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is half as good as it's predecessors. Only time will tell if this movie gets better with repeated viewing. Regardless of that outcome, does this mean I oppose future Indy adventures? Hell no! I still love this character, and quite frankly, I'd like to see Spielberg and crew give us a movie that's worth it's weight in gold, but I'd much rather see Spielberg move on to bigger and better things. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull isn't exactly the film some fans might be dreading, but given the talent involved, it should have been much better. And that's coming from a fan--not a critic!!!!

Grade: C+