Transformers: The Last Knight review: Dir. Michael Bay (2017)

Transformers: The Last Knight review: Michael Bay once again delves into the rich mythology of the Autobots for this fifth outing in the billion dollar franchise.

Transformers: The Last Knight review by Luke Ryan Baldock.

Transformers is a depressing juggernaut of a franchise. Its excessive levels of noise (both sound and visual) apparently confusing minds into a stupor of acceptance. The first film in the 5-in franchise was released a decade ago, and at the time the novelty of the toy line coming to life was fairly enjoyable. Then the sequels happened! Each film getting longer, more nonsensical, and especially in terms of the writers’ strike-hit second installment, just an absolute travesty. None of this deterred Michael Bay however, whose billion dollar franchise is a hit over the world, as he seemed to relish in mocking the critics with the fourth entry’s 2 hour and 48 minute runtime. So, has the formula been changed up? Has Bay taken critiques on board? Well, maybe to some degree.

The fifth entry starts with a flashback to England during the dark ages. Here we see King Arthur and his knights relying on wizard Merlin (a returning Stanley Tucci in an enjoyable cameo) to provide them with magic. That magic is of course Cybertronian (sp?) residents and technology. This opening battle is fantastic and almost too good. I wish I had sat down to see an entire medieval set production where a giant mechanical dragon goes to battle. Giant fireballs roar across the screen, and the action is completely accessible and easy to follow; sad I get to use that as a complement, but this is a Michael Bay Transformer movie we’re talking about. It doesn’t last for long though, we are quickly introduced to the world ending MacGuffin the villains will be looking for later,  as Anthony Hopkins’ narration brings us into present day by catching us up on previous events and also what has happened between films.

Now we follow Izabella (with a ‘Z’ and two ‘L’s) played by Isabela Moner (with an ‘S’ and one ‘L’). Izabella lives in a cordoned off area of Chicago where robots are hunted by the newly formed government body, the TRF, which I forget what it stands for, but they’re basically humans that hunt Transformers. Again we are teased with a better film than we get, with Moner being a charismatic and strong character. For a kid’s film it would have been perfect to follow her through a  dystopian world where giant robots are friends and threats. Unfortunately Mark Wahlberg has other ideas as he swoops in and takes the film for himself. Moner even vanishes from the film for a good 40 minutes as Wahlberg travels to London to meet eccentric Sir Edmund Burton (Hopkins) and Oxford professor Vivian Wembley (Laura Haddock), due to an artifact he was given by a dying old fashioned Transformer.

There’s also stuff about Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) meeting his maker, Quintessa (Gemma Chan), while John Turturro returns as Simmons for a holiday in Cuba. Seriously, he has no scenes with any other actors and only interacts over the phone. Oh and Josh Duhamel also returns as Lennox to deal with the military aspects. If you hadn’t guessed, this film is a narrative mess. It wants to be serious, it wants to be funny, it wants to have its cake, eat its cake, bake another cake, and buy a cake off you. You start forgetting about certain plotlines until they return, and Bay can’t help but insert needless scenes.We get a flashback of Bumblebee during WWII attacking Nazis. Sure, sounds cool, but adds nothing at all.

Bay has certainly addressed some criticism. Izabella and Vivian are strong characters, both very smart in different ways, and not seen covered in sweat writhing over automobiles; which is very good considering Izabella is 14, but I wouldn’t have been surprised. Neither plays the damsel in distress more than any of the other human characters and both add emotion and/or plot to the story. Don’t worry though Bay purists, as a lot of racial/ethnic/foreign stereotypes are still present as is the awkward humour and immaturity in the form of swearing (the most ‘shits’ I’ve ever heard in a 12), sexual innuendos, and loud crass voice work in parts.

With all this said, the film is, and it shames me to say…rather fun. The action is big and exciting, and this time I knew which robots were which. Anthony Hopkins is delightful and having so much fun that his humour really shines through. Even awkward bits that verge on parody kind of work, such as when Hopkins’ manservant Cogman (Jim Carter) starts playing an organ to make Burton’s exposition more epic. There’s 90 minutes of a rollicking fun adventure in here somewhere, but there’s also an hour of needless tripe that is far too serious for its own good, and too many characters and storylines that simply don’t go together. Even Optimus Prime is unnecessary to this film. If Bay could decide on a tone then the focus could really help the franchise. And also, it was really quite impressive to see the studio deciding to truncate the runtime by giving us a the quickest end-credits I’ve ever seen for such a huge production, because why condense a bulky film when you can just flash the credits for those that worked so hard?

Transformers: The Last Knight review by Luke Ryan Baldock, June 2017.

Transformers: The Last Knight will be released in cinemas on Thursday 22nd June, 2017.