‘Tis the season to be scary. For years humankind have wondered whether anything supernatural lurks in the shadows, and vampires have always been a favourite. They get to cheat death, and stay young and beautiful forever. Okay, they have to drink some blood every now and again, sleep in a coffin, and can’t go out in the sun, but immortality would be fun. At least for a while.
It’s taken some time, but we think we have proof that vampires exist, and it turns out that they’ve been right under our noses all this time. They’ve flaunted themselves in front of us for years and years. Have you ever noticed how some film stars just never seem to age? There’s a distinct chance that some of our favourite celebrities might actually be vampires. We’ve stumbled across several potential vampire candidates from the world of Hollywood and present our evidence here.
Keanu Reeves
Current Age – 52
Keanu Reeves may have just turned fifty-two, but he could easily still pass as Ted ‘Theodore’ Logan. His turn in John Wick highlighted that he is still just as active as when he first started out. Where on Earth does he get all that energy from? Our theory takes us back to 1992 when he starred in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. He played Jonathan Harker, a man tormented by Count Dracula. Given that he’s barely aged a day since that encounter, we can’t help but feel that he made some kind of deal for immortal youth.
Sandra Bullock
Current Age – 52
It’s pretty clear that Sandra Bullock has been drinking whatever Keanu Reeves has been drinking, and that liquid is clearly human blood from the looks of her. She barely looks out of her early thirties and yet she’s a member of the half century club. Reeves obviously enjoyed her company so much on Speed and The Lake House that he shared his secret and sired her. Then again, she could have always demanded it after he abandoned her to the terrible Speed 2: Cruise Control. She’ll need an eternal life to forget that stinker.
Jared Leto
Current Age – 44
Jared Leto has been the subject of teenage crushes since the nineties. He first broke young girls hearts in 1994 in My So Called Life; then over ten years later he fronted his rock-band 30 Seconds to Mars, enslaving a whole new generation. Leto is now rumoured to be playing Anne Rice‘s most famous vampire, The Vampire LeStat, in a new wave of films. Might this be the actor stepping out of the coffin?
Julia Roberts
Current Age – 49
Julia Roberts used to date Kiefer Sutherland. The pair were together for a couple of years from 1990 and were almost married. Roberts got cold feet though and called the wedding off. It was around this time that she ceased to age. The story has always been that they met and fell in love on Flatliners, but could her interest in Kiefer have been more about his past role of David in The Lost Boys? We can only hope that she doesn’t like to trick her dinner guests with the old noodles-being-worms gag.
Ian Solmerhalder
Current Age – 37
They always say that the best place to hide is in plain sight. This is a technique that actor Ian Solmerhalder has clearly adopted. What better way to throw people off of the scent than by playing a vampire on TV. Solmerhalder is most famous for playing Damon Salvatore; he plays the part so effortlessly…well, it’s almost like it’s a case of art imitating life…
Salma Hayek
Current Age – 50
Salma Hayek burst onto the movie scene when she starred alongside Antonio Banderas in Desperado. She captured the imagination of director Robert Rodriguez and has worked with him solidly ever since. Their second project together, From Dusk Till Dawn, featured Hayek as Vampire Queen Santanico Pandemonium. Hayek clearly went method for the role, she’s barely aged a day since, and she definitely has that undeniable sex appeal that vampires seem to ooze.
Will Smith
Current Age: 48
You remember in I Am Legend when Will Smith was the last man alive? Well we never found his performance that convincing, probably because he isn’t a man at all… he’s clearly something more sinister. The ‘Fresh Prince’ still looks as fresh as he did back in the day. Plus he clearly used his vampiric powers of persuasion to get After Earth made.
There you have it, irrefutable proof that vampire’s exist…or maybe just that these people are all blessed with exceptionally good genetics. Happy Halloween folks.
