Christmas With The Coopers review: “It’s predictable, it’s schmaltzy, but it’s never offensive.”

Christmas With The Coopers review: You’re going to remember the faults rather than the rare good points.

Hollywood loves a good ol’ fashioned family Christmas. It plays to the largest demographic and in terms of writing and structure it’s fairly easy to reproduce winning formulas and connect with the audience. All that needs to be done is to take a dysfunctional family, but one that truly loves each other despite everything, throw in a few cute and quirky kids, add in slapstick and Christmas frustrations we can all relate to, and make sure there is some romance. It’s predictable, it’s schmaltzy, but it’s never offensive.

For the most part Christmas With The Coopers follows this recipe to perfection, but instead of making a decent three course cinematic meal with a three act structure, we’re instead subjected to the ingredients for all three courses thrown together in a single meal and allowed to burn in the oven. Scrape off the burnt layer and you can salvage something that may be tasty, but you’re going to remember the faults rather than the rare good points.

To try and describe the plot to Christmas With The Coopers is a task in itself. A dysfunctional family plan on getting together for Christmas, but on Christmas Eve each member is involved in their own story. Charlotte (Diane Keaton) and Sam (John Goodman) have decided to get a divorce and are at odds as to whether they should tell the rest of the family. Their son Hank (Ed Helms) has just gone through a divorce and lost his job. Their daughter Eleanor (Olivia Wilde) has just arrived at the airport and decides to take departing soldier Joe (Jake Lacy) home as a fake boyfriend. Charlotte’s sister Emma (Marisa Tomei) has just been caught shoplifting and is being escorted to the station by Officer Williams (Anthony Mackie). Charlotte and Emma’s father, Bucky (Alan Arkin), has fallen for his much younger waitress Ruby (Amanda Seyfried).There are some other subplots, but those are your main bunch.

If it sounds as though this would be too much to fit into a single film, then you’d be absolutely correct. Especially for a film that doesn’t even reach the two hour mark. You’ve probably heard each plot before as its own Hallmark Christmas movie, and the addition of an all-star cast doesn’t help. The stories aren’t just predictable, but are poorly handled in both writing and editing. With so much to get through the dialogue is reduced to clichés in an attempt to get to the point quickly. It allows for no real chemistry to develop and the entire film feels like a bunch of actors thrown together rather than a genuine family.

The cutting between stories is also misjudged. You’ll soon forget about certain story strands. As there are lengthy sequences where we focus on just one or two stories and are then expected to just reinsert ourselves into a forgettable romance. There also seems to be a distinct failure in setting up any time or continuity. Eleanor and Joe’s romance moves locations and seems to last for hours before they make the journey to the family Christmas. At the same time Emma is stuck in the back of a police car for this entire time. Just exactly how far away is this police station she’s being taken to?

Once all the stars are together there is some enjoyable comedy, such as misunderstandings, quick one liners, and some surreal comments from Aunty Fishy (June Squibb), who plays the usual undefined family member whose dementia is used for both comedy and touching moments. Better construction may have started with the family together and then giving little flashbacks into their days, or maybe had it been structured like a Christmas anthology film we could give our full attention to each story in its entirety. As it is though, I’m glad I had a notebook and pen to keep track of everything going on. Actually, “glad” is a bit of a strong word, as I just didn’t care.

I’m a real lover of Christmas and Christmas movies, so it doesn’t take much to warm my heart. However, with this is a clear case of trying too hard. The performances are fine, the production design perfectly recreates a middle class Christmas, and the music is festive enough. But when you come away wanting more from Anthony Mackie’s small, but brilliantly played, role as a homosexual policeman accepting his sexuality, then it’s clear the focus is in the wrong place. He is where the focus should have been and it’s a shame we don’t see him with his family. This is Jessie Nelson‘s first film as a director in 14 years, and the rust is certainly apparent. Meanwhile scriptwriter Steven Rogers is known for romantic pap such as Hope Floats, Kate & Leopold, and P.S. I Love You. It’s not a winning combination, and the desperation shines through when emulating the narration and fantasy sequences of A Christmas Story. On the plus side though, this is the perfect representation of how chaotic Christmas can be.

Christmas With The Coopers review by Luke Ryan Baldock, November 2015.

Christmas With The Coopers is released in UK cinemas today.