I don’t know anything about hip-hop and research is hard, not to mention time consuming. So, with the eagerly awaited NWA movie Straight Outta Compton approaching release, I point you in the direction of THN’s gushing review (“one of the best films of the year”). For anyone more interested in four Nigels, you’re welcome.
NIGEL HAVERS ‘STRAIGHT OUTTA…LONDON’
If there was ever a Nigel of ups and downs, it’s London’s very own Nigel Havers. He became a household name in 1981 thanks to his portrayal of Lord Andrew Lindsay in Chariots of Fire. He allegedly had an affair and went on to marry his mistress later that decade. He took his love-ratting from real life to fiction, playing womanising scoundrel Lewis Archer in Coronation Street in 2009. Just five years later he starred as ‘King Rat’ in Swindon Wyvern Theatre’s production of Dick Whittington. Presumably it was this turn he has to thank for the following outrageous outburst:
“If any actor gets offered Corrie, for heaven’s sake take it because it’s the best job in the world.”
Just when you thought he lacked enough attitude to be on this list, he bravely farts that one out into a cupped hand and thrusts it under the noses of the wider acting community.
Any actor. ANY.
NIGEL TUFNEL ‘STRAIGHT OUTTA…SQUATNEY, EAST LONDON’
Lead guitarist in “one of England’s Loudest bands” (Fictional rock outfit Spinal Tap), Nigel Tufnel oozed so much sexually charged stage presence that female fans were “really quite fearful.” It seemed that the Rock n’ Roll movement was waning until Tufnel took to the stage with such flamboyant, genre defining displays as playing his guitar with a violin, foregrounding a gig with an 18 inch high Stonehenge replica, and plugging in to an amp that goes to 11 (one louder).
Sadly Tufnel’s genius was not seen by all – Spinal Tap‘s gigs got cancelled due to poor ticket sales (they were once second-billed to a puppet show), their drummer exploded on-stage and their 1980 album Shark Sandwich was, in one publication, simply given a two word review that read, “shit sandwich”.
NIGELLA LAWSON ‘STRAIGHT OUTTA…WANDSWORTH’
Not strictly a Nigel, but when a Dad’s called Nigel and chooses to name his daughter Nigella, she makes the list. Also the Nigel pool is an unfortunately shallow one.
Nigella Lawson started out as a journalist, restaurant critic and broadcaster, before becoming one of Britain’s best loved celebrity chefs.
Despite all this, perhaps Nigella’s greatest triumph is finding the time to somehow crowbar in preparing a bit of grub whilst dishing up such a heroic portion of thinly veiled sexual/culinary implication that she should be appointed the undisputed poet laureate of food innuendo.
NIGEL BATES ‘STRAIGHT OUTTA…WALFORD’
One of Eastenders‘ all time wettest sad sacks (down there with Barry Evans and Ian Beale), Nigel Bates remains one of British soap’s most memorable characters. With a haircut like an accident at a merkin factory and a soft spot for a shit tie, Nigel was a little luckless with the women. When he did manage to woo any unsuspecting ladies in his favoured prowling ground of the Albert Square video shop, they’d usually get snatched off him by Grant Mitchell.
Still, Nigel will always be fondly remembered as the loveable loser on a soap mainly watched to remind people that their lives do have the potential to be crapper than they already are.
Straight Outta Compton is released in UK cinemas on Friday 28th August, 2015. Read our review here.
