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Blog Of Thrones 5.6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken [Contains Spoilers]

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It’s back! Can you believe it’s been almost a whole year since we last left the Westeros realm? During that time the hype hasn’t died down any and we’ve all been clambering at the bit, excitedly waiting for Game of Thrones to return. Happily our not so patient waiting is finally over as season five has finally landed.

One of the best things about the show is of course the audience participation, we love to talk about Game of Thrones. THN will be here every week post UK transmission to chat about all the inevitable twists, turns and tragic deaths in our Blog of Thrones.

Be warned, only read on if you have seen the sixth episode of season five Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken as this article contains spoilers.

unbent

Writers: David Benioff, D. B Wiess

Directors: Jeremy Podeswa

Cast: Lena Headey, Peter Dinklage, Sophie Turner, Alfie Allen, Iwan Rheon, Maisie Williams, Tom Wlaschiha, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Natalie Dormer, Iain Glenn, Diana Rigg

Synopsis: Arya is put to the test. Tyrion and Jorah are captured by slavers. Loras Tyrell is judged by the Sparrows. Jamie and Bronn face the Sand Snakes. Sansa marries Ramsay Bolton.

Well Sansa’s wedding night is definitely one that she’ll never forget. Unfortunately for her in classic Game of Thrones style it’s unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. It was a heck of a dark and depressing way to end the show and sent shudders down this writer’s spine. We’ll get to that a little later though as we have a lot of other things to cover first.

Last week’s episode ended with that horrible revelation that Jorah had been touched by one of the stone men, meaning that he too will become one. But he hasn’t shared his new affliction with his prisoner/travelling companion Tyrion. The pair did share a few other things however, as Tyrion recounted to Jorah the time he met his father before inadvertently telling Jorah he was dead. I guess news doesn’t travel too well around the seven kingdoms, they haven’t got Facebook or Twitter after all.

Tyrion filled him in on all the gossip, including the reason he was on the run. In return Jorah explained just why he is certain that Mother of Dragons Daenerys is the rightful owner of the iron throne. Tyrion is more than a little dubious as apparently there are rumblings that all Targaryens are a little mad. Jorah obviously disagreed and recounted the tale of the end of season one wherein Dany stepped into a blazing inferno with her fossilised dragon eggs and emerged damage free with three baby dragons.

The blossoming, dare we say friendship, was cut short as the duo were accosted by slave traders. Thanks to some very fast thinking by Tyrion both men (and Tyrion’s appendage) are safe for now and on their way to Slaver’s Bay to enter Jorah into the fighting pits. I’m guessing Jorah will be the competitor in a fight that Dany attends.

Having not seen her for an episode or so we got several visits to Arya who is still hard at work scrubbing dead bodies. Just for what purpose we’re not entirely sure, but there do seem to be quite a lot of them. The place is full of bodies and secret doors. After a hard day’s work scrubbing the newly departed, all one wants to do is climb into bed and have a restful slumber. This was denied to Arya this week as she found herself woken in the middle of the night by the enigmatic Jaqen for a midnight game of faces. Arya’s ability at being honest and believable came into question when she said that she hated The Hound. Jaqen believed this a lie telling Arya she was lying to herself. It did seem that she was developing a soft spot for the profanity-loving killer before his death.

After her stern talking-to Arya finally proved herself worthy of finding out what is behind mystery door number two as she aided a young girl’s suffering by convincingly lying to her. Again I’ve no idea how big this establishment is but there was what looked like a cathedral, full of severed heads. Are these the many faces that the group use and can transform into? Arya might be on her way to finding out as despite not being ready to become no-one, she is ready to become someone else.

The action of the episode came from the land of Dorne as Bronn and Jaime took on the Sand Snakes. Jaime has been sent to rescue his ‘niece’, but the young princess seems more than happy where she is. Their rescue attempt unfurled at the same time as the Sand Snakes assassination attempt, with both parties foiled by the Dorne guard.

Littlefinger has arrived safely back in King’s Landing, though Lancel didn’t exactly greet him in the most welcoming manner. Lord Baelish then exchanged words with the Queen Mother, Cersei. Is it just me who gets a little creeped out whenever Cersei is referred to as the Queen Mother? Given that for many years the UK had it’s own Queen Mother I find the two images hard to put next to one another. Anyway, is there anybody that Littlefinger won’t backstab? He reported back all of the goings on of the North and effectively threw Sansa under the bus. Also, are we thinking that he had a hand in his parent’s death when he was young? I for one wouldn’t put anything past him. He also urged Cersei to let his men of the Vale go to war against the winning inhabitants of Winterfell post war of the Bolton’s and Stannis. In exchange he wants only to be pronounced Warden of the North. Cersei agreed on the provision that he bring her Sansa’s head on a stick. Lovely.

Cersei’s plotting seems to be working out just how she planned. Hiding herself behind the High Sparrow she is doing her utmost best to give the outward appearance of concern so as to not disappoint Tommen. The scene between Cersei and Olenna was brilliantly bitchy, each woman knows the other’s true colours, but they can’t quite outright say it. Olenna’s nod to Cersei’s relationship to Jaime was genius, as was the tart tongue/tart exchange.

Olenna might be a formidable lady but she’s got her work cut out if she wants to undo Cersei’s master plan. Loras found himself in a pre-trial hearing where he stood accused of ‘fornication, buggery and blasphemy’, all of which he denied. Margaery backed her brother up and it was all looking good for the Tyrell trio until Brothel Manager Olyvar came sauntering and exposed everything, including that Margaery was complicit. We’re intrigued to see that Dorne shaped birth mark. The result is that both brother and sister will stand trial.

In Winterfell meanwhile it was time for the wedding of the year (probably). The festivities began with a very catty bath scene. Myranda tried her best to scare Sansa off of Ramsey, revealing all his past digressions. Sansa wasn’t having any of it and called her out. Then came the time for her escort to collect her; still not happy with Theon/Reek she refused to link his arm, an action that made him very nervous.

What a lovely night time ceremony it was, and outside as well no less. Just what you want in a place called Winterfell. Reek may have walked Sansa down the aisle but it was Theon of House Greyjoy who gave her away. Poor guy straddling two personalities. The wedding itself was fairly uneventful, but the wedding night… well that was altogether vile.

Had they ever met Ramsey and Joffrey would have gotten along famously. I’m certain that Joffrey would have approved of Ramsey’s treatment of Sansa. But I think it’s only that small group of two that will see his actions as anything other than cruel. Starting by questioning how she was still a virgin considering she’d previously been wed Ramsey then demanded she strip before mounting her. All in front of Theon/Reek who was made to watch the whole sordid affair. I don’t know who I feel more sorry for, Sansa or Theon who, as Ramsey remarked, watched the girl he knew ‘become a woman’.

Given that the name of tonight’s episode was named after the Sand Snakes battle cry, Dorne was featured all too little. The wheels are still slowly turning, with this season definitely being a slow burn, much like the very first one. There’s only so long we can wait for a pay off though, hurry up Game of Thrones!

[usr=4] Game Of Thrones airs on HBO in north America, and Sky Atlantic in the UK and Ireland.

Kat Hughes is a UK born film critic and interviewer who has a passion for horror films. An editor for THN, Kat is also a Rotten Tomatoes Approved Critic. She has bylines with Ghouls Magazine, Arrow Video, Film Stories, Certified Forgotten and FILMHOUNDS and has had essays published in home entertainment releases by Vinegar Syndrome and Second Sight. When not writing about horror, Kat hosts micro podcast Movies with Mummy along with her five-year-old daughter.

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