The Conjuring Review

Director: James Wan.

Starring: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston.

Running Time: 112 minutes.

Certificate: 15.

Synopsis: The Perron family look to make a fresh start by moving into their dream house. Sadly, all is not what it seems, and it’s not long before they’re calling on paranormal investigators Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) and Ed Warren (Patrick Wilson) to help out in what was apparently their ‘most terrifying case’.

Despite being repeatedly sold and praised as the year’s most ‘original horror film’ (including by the director himself), THE CONJURING is sadly anything but. Taking the tired haunted house genre and meshing it with a modicum of the also increasingly tired exorcism malarkey, James Wan’s collection of cheap jump scares does not a scary movie make.

The real measure of great horror is, of course, the use of tension; for if one cannot build suspense in their audience, how can one hope to scare them effectively? In recent years this has been countered by the use of such jump scares as those found in, well, found footage films (think PARANORMAL ACTIVITY or V/H/S), with little to no use of tension being replaced by lazy instances of films simply shouting, “BOO.”

Then, of course, there is the other side of the horror genre; that which relishes in gore, blood and foulness in order to shock (though crucially, hardly scare) its audience. It’s ironic that James Wan, a key proponent of this subgenre through the SAW franchise, should want to emphasise so heavily how ‘original’ THE CONJURING is. In truth, it will only seem original to someone whose horror library consists solely of SAW, for THE CONJURING is little more than a retelling of a story already decades old.

It was hoped that THE CONJURING, referencing as it does in its tagline the original AMITYVILLE HORROR, might inject some much-needed life back into the haunted house genre. Its true-story shtick is at least good for introducing the characters of Lorraine and Ed Warren, a pair of world-renowned paranormal investigators who turn out to be the most interesting thing about THE CONJURING. As might be expected, years of fighting off evil spirits and the like has taken its toll on the couple, in particular Lorraine, a clairvoyant with a history of unsettling experiences.

That we find out the details of these experiences so calmly and only halfway through the film alludes to the poor narrative structure of THE CONJURING. Too eager are writers Chad and Carey Hayes to spill all of the film’s secrets, and too early on. But then, it’s not that half of these are particularly interesting anyway. The mystery surrounding the house to which the Perron family has moved and subsequently experienced paranormal activity is less of a shocking reveal and more of a, “so what?” moment.

This, essentially, is the main problem with THE CONJURING, and every one of its key plot points and biggest scares simply falls flat. The two-dimensional family does little to draw us in, while the efforts of Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson as the ghostbusting duo can only go so far with such a stale script. Instead, we’re left to watch characters make typically daft decisions (because who wouldn’t go down into a secret cellar in the middle of the night?), groaning along at every turn the narrative takes.

And so, no matter what the ads tell you, THE CONJURING is neither fresh nor original, instead cobbling together parts of every horror film under the sun to come up with something you’ll have seen done better a thousand times before – and likely a thousand times over in future, too.

THE CONJURING is released in UK cinemas on August 2nd.