Here is a still from ZULU, the new feature film starring Forest Whitaker and Orlando Bloom.
(The above comment is the only true thing about this entire article. From here on in, it’s all lies. Enjoy the Ridiculous Rewrite.)
The film concerns Dr Wintupple Thumbs (Bloom), a physician who just loves the film ZULU, featuring Michael Caine and troubled broadcaster Dave Lee Travis. He watches it as often as he can, projecting it from a powerful light on his wristwatch onto any surface wide enough (and in his view, worthy enough) to display the film. Today, he is sat on a park bench and projects it onto the side of a passing dog which, luckily, remains stationary enough for him to sit and enjoy.
However, twenty minutes into his viewing, a local horse whisperer (Whitaker) sits beside him to watch the film as well, and Thumbs suddenly realises this may be awkward due to the troubling representation of racial dynamics in the classic film. Frozen in social awkwardness, Thumbs remains as inert as the dog (later revealed to have died from the sniffles) while his new companion enjoys the epic classic.
The film plays in real time alongside the original ZULU and there is no dialogue, all the sound comes from the soundtrack of the movie they watch, which we never see, as the camera remains trained on our two protagonists. Michael Bay produces, so expect, at some point, for the bench to explode or for it to transform into Shia LeBeouf.
In reality, ZULU is directed by Jerome Salle and will be closing Cannes. Thing is, it’s meant to be an excellent drama, so feel free to click on the source for this image for some actual truth. But wait ’til you see the whites in their eyes.
Source: Hey U Guys
