Three diverse releases this week as Christmas continues to chase us down like a deranged psychopath after ketamine, so let’s get to it:
THE EXPENDABLES 2 (DVD/Blu-ray) – dir. Simon West
One for the men, THE EXPENDABLES 2 showcases some of (80s) actions biggest stars wearing a lot of make up and holding guns. No need to bring your brain, just make sure you leave common sense at the door for a film whose “first 15 and final 20 minutes make BLACK HAWK DOWN look like an episode of SESAME STREET”.
Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.
ICE AGE 4: CONTINENTAL DRIFT (DVD/Blu-ray/3d Blu-ray) – dir. Steve Martino, Mike Thurmeier
Back for more high-jinx are the ICE AGE team as Scrat causes a continental cataclysm with a storm, sending the four on a journey to a new world. Our man Dan described it as “quick witted, snappy and a beautifully kind film”, so add it to your Christmas list.
Manny, Diego, and Sid embark upon another adventure after their continent is set adrift. Using an iceberg as a ship, they encounter sea creatures and battle pirates as they explore a new world.
KEITH LEMON THE FILM (DVD/Blu-ray) – dir. Paul Angunawela
Arriving about as welcome as a turd in a bath, KEITH LEMON THE FILM was met with derision and anger by film critics the world over. Or at least it would have been if it were press screened. Refusing to pay to see it we instead compiled a list of the best ways to kill Keith which you can view here
Keith Lemon acts like a twat for 85 minutes and makes Kelly Brook unattractive.
With Christmas coming there will be no release column next week. Instead we will be running through 2012’s cinema releases leading up to our THN Top 5 of 2012, so be sure to keep it THN.
Sam is a bloody lovely lad born and raised in Bristol (he’s still there and can’t escape). Favourite films include THE LOST BOYS, DRIVE, FIGHT CLUB and COMMANDO, well pretty much any 1980s Arnie film you can throw his way…even RED SONJA. Sam once cancelled a Total Film subscription after they slagged off Teen Wolf. He resubscribed 2 days later.
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