Director: Garry Marshall
Starring: Katherine Heigl, Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Jon Bon Jovi, Abigail Breslin, Robert De Niro, Josh Duhamel, Zac Efron
Running Time: 118 minutes
Certificate: 12
Extras: Audio Commentary With Garry Marshall, Gag Reel
When it comes time for the human race to cash in its chips I can only hope that NEW YEAR’S EVE isn’t held against us. Yes, we have done war and all that stuff, but at least these acts of horror can be mildly justified. NEW YEAR’S EVE does not have that luxury, it is pure flaming horse shit.
Before any of you say, “Yeah, but you are not the target audience” I watched it with my wife who also found it vapid and insulting – though she was able to reel off 5 recent Rom-Coms that are worse.
The ensemble cast – all of whom should be really fucking ashamed of themselves – is so big there appears to be a new character in every scene each with an insipid tale to tell: from Michelle Pfeiffer hiring Zac Efron to make all her New Years Eve wishes come true (for fuck’s sake); Katherine Heigl getting back together with Jon Bon Jovi (smarm oozing from every pore); Robert De Niro as a dying man who wants to see one more New Year’s Eve; Josh Duhamel with a crashed car, and some poor cow being stuck in a lift with Ashton Kutcher, oh and a couple trying to induce a baby to win some money. Yes, you read the last one right.
I can only imagine this film paid well for the amount of people involved; that or Garry Marshall has killer info on each that could ruin them for good. It’s wall to wall horror: horror performances, horror product placement, and horror cameos.
Like being beaten to death by a jelly baby holding a block of marzipan while it tries to tell you about all the beauty in the world NEW YEAR’S EVE is pointless, overly sweet, insulting, and oh so very… FUCK OFF.
NEW YEAR’S EVE is available on DVD and Blu-ray 3rd December
Dan Bullock
Nov 28, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Without even looking, what a piece of shite.