Rock Of Ages DVD Review

Director: Adam Shankman

Cast: Diego Boneta, Julianne Hough, Alec Baldwin, Catherine Zeta Jones, Russell Brand, Bryan Cranston, Tom Cruise

Running time: 123 mins

Certificate: 12A

Synopsis: It’s 1987, and LA rock club The Bourbon Room is under threat of closure from the mayor (Cranston) and his wife (Zeta-Jones). Employees Sherrie (Hough) and Drew (Boneta) must rely on the famously unreliable rock star Stacee Jaxx (Cruise) to save the club…

Following his commendable adaptation of kitsch comedy HAIRSPRAY, director Adam Shankman tackles his second major bog-screen musical. But on paper, ROCK OF AGES is a tougher sell – a musical comedy heavy on dated rock music. And with Tom Cruise. Singing…

The film opens with Sherrie on a bus singing along with her headphones – cue all other passengers joining in to belt out the rest of the first god-awful eighties anthem. Based on the successful stage musical of the same name, the film is of course peppered with eighties karaoke rock, and occasionally the musical numbers are mildly amusing and drive the plot. But all too often – as in this instance – they seem arbitrary and crowbarred in unnecessarily, presumably because a few lyrics vaguely fit with a character’s predicament. For those of you who like sugarcoated jukebox covers, this won’t be a problem, and you’ll be tapping your feet joyously through the film’s monstrous two-hour runtime. Unfortunately, for the saner mind, this will feel like Rock of Ages …and ages and ages.

At the film’s core is a predictable and mostly humourless love story between young bartenders Sherrie and Drew, which frankly wouldn’t seem out of place in a HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL movie; perhaps Shankman drew too much inspiration from his time as director of television’s GLEE. This plot strand is given too much attention, criminally stealing screen time from the under-used Catherine Zeta-Jones as Patricia Whitmore, the Machiavellian wife of the mayor. She is brilliantly conniving, claiming rock music is ‘raping our children’s ears’, but her true motives soon become clear as she leads a band of church-going rock & roll-haters who (of course) use rock covers and high-kicking dance routines to show their hatred of the smutty scene.

Despite the small town girl meets city boy love story (yawn), the real draw of ROCK OF AGES was always going to be Tom Cruise’s outrageous Stacee Jaxx. The film only kicks into gear when Cruise emerges from a pile of scantily-clad groupies and sporting a comedy codpiece. Cruise even proves a competent singer and goes onto deliver plenty of big laughs as a pretentious, boozy, sex maniac, especially in his exchanges with his greedy manager, played by an on-form Paul Giamatti. Cruise’s performance makes the film – rarely without an empty bottle in his hand or a tongue in his ear, Jaxx and his leather-clad, trigger-happy pet monkey provide the film’s best moments.

Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand share decent comedic chemistry and deliver humorous ‘bromantic’ support to Cruise’s headline act. Baldwin especially shines as the rock club’s loveable owner, but Brand’s terrible Brummie accent seems completely unnecessary and distracts from some great gags (including a notable mention of Debbie Harry’s vagina).

ROCK OF AGES is undoubtedly fun, but suffers from a crowded ensemble cast, some of whom deserve more screen time. The ‘more eighties than the decade itself’ wardrobe and grimy rock club backdrop will appeal to some, but unfortunately the bloated running time owes to the fact that apparently there’s a cheesy rock song for every occasion, typified by the cringe-inducing Journey cover at the finale that’s threatened throughout. If you’re craving some nostalgia, by all means tie a bandana around your bicep, thrust your rock horns aloft and you’ll enjoy some laughs along the way too. If not, be warned – you’ll leave with a headache and a horribly sugary taste in your mouth.

  ROCK OF AGES is available of DVD & Blu-ray now.