New action-packed images of Daniel Craig in SKYFALL have been released, so let the ridiculous rewrite…begin!

SKYFALL takes us where no Bond film has gone before. We follow agent 007 on a day off as he goes for a wander around central London. The first two thirds of the film are extraordinary, as we see one long, continuous shot following Bond strolling around The National Gallery. We watch in awe and complete silence as Britain’s greatest secret agent ponders on which 16th Century aristocratic ladies he’d have a go on. Eventually he decides he’ll crack one out to one of the birds off Titian’s Diana and Actaeon (1556-9), then he goes home on his scooter.

The dénouement sees Bond getting quite annoyed at all the traffic. He took his moped to avoid the congestion charge, but it still takes him ages to get down Goodge Street (or as he calls it, Gooch Street, because he really likes sex). Craig reaches his creative zenith as he tuts and rolls his eyes like a young Brando, or a particularly intense Oliver Reed. Check out the pictures below, but brace yourself. It’s like pumping adrenaline into your eyes using a needle made of biceps.

SKYFALL is directed by Sam Mendes and stars Daniel Craig, Dame Judi Dench, Ralph Fiennes, Bérénice Marlohe, Naomie Harris, Albert Finney, Ben Whishaw, Helen McCrory, Ola Rapace, and Javier Bardem as arch villain Timmy Tinkles.

It strolls into UK cinemas on the 26th of October.

(This is a spoof article using real pictures. The plot described above may not be accurate).

Source of images: Comic Book Movies