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John Carter Review

Director: Andrew Stanton

Cast: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Dominic West, Willem Dafoe, Mark Strong

Running time:132minutes

Certification: 12A

Synopsis: Whilst outrunning the painful memory of his slaughtered family, renegade cavalry man John Carter (Kitsch) is mystically transported to Mars where his earthling body possesses super-human strength. When rescuing a Martian princess (Collins), John inadvertently becomes embroiled in a planetary civil war and must choose between returning home or using his new found powers to liberate the ‘people’ of Mars.

THN has spent the past year suspiciously eyeing the JOHN CARTER project with substantial scepticism, a smattering of intrigue, and only a smidgeon of interest. Ordinarily a far-out movie in which a cowboy gets beamed to Mars to participate in spacey warfare with Martian natives would have our excitement glands throbbing to bursting point, but in a post-AVATAR world we’ve learned to temper our anticipation. THN would’ve loved to have been wrong on this one, and entered the screening ready and willing to be blown away by an awe-inspiring sci-fi epic, but instead what we got was a muddled Martian melodrama on a bland CG backdrop.

JOHN CARTER is based on Edgar Rice Burroughs’ novel ‘A Princess of Mars’, and it’s clear that the filmmakers have got a little lost trying to reconcile the book’s complex mythology with a blockbuster’s need for high concept set-pieces and action. An admirable attempt has been made to maintain a rich on-screen universe by side-stepping overt exposition, but in doing so the film fails to fully explain the whys and wherefores of the world presented, and ultimately the viewer may feel a little lost. Tharks, Therns, Issus, Barsoom, Jarsoom and Jeddaks are the more obvious terms tossed around amidst a plot of planetary politics and civil war. Mars’ unrest is being orchestrated by omnipotent baddies (the aforementioned Therns led by Mark Strong), whose purpose, even in hindsight, is a little undefined. As a character, John Carter feels equally under developed and, aside from a tepid love interest, there isn’t a believable motivation for why he abandons his quest to return to Earth to become a heroic freedom fighter.  It’s a real shame that in trying not a patronise the audience JOHN CARTER stumbles in answering obvious questions and feels vague and confused.

Let’s not be complete Negative Nancies: JC is not without its merits. The CG Tharks (the green guys you’ll have seen in the trailer) are astoundingly tangible – although how the FX folks can make nine-feet-tall, six-limbed Martians completely believable and then bungle some simple wire-work defies belief (just wait for John’s first smalls steps and giant leaps and you’ll see what we mean). There is an awesome sequence in which Carter single-handedly owns a hoard of rouge Martians in an emotional frenzied battle that’ll get you buzzing. However, the much-touted great white ape set-piece is woefully underwhelming and not least of all because it’s a carbonate copy of the ATTACK OF THE CLONES arena scene. The film does have better, more subtle moments; John’s early escapes from Bryan Cranston is a giggle-jerker and the insistent ‘Virginia’ gag never fails to raise a laugh. The set and costume design are also incredibly intricate and the conceptual artistry is very impressive and is perhaps JOHN CARTER’s most credible factor.

However good JOHN CARTER looks, it still won’t take away that null feeling as you leave the cinema underwhelmed and disappointed. For the most part this is due to the source material’s garbled translation to screen. Although the FX are (generally) brilliant, the overall environment is bland and boring, whereas in a film like AVATAR we marvel at verdant alien vistas here we have desolate rock and desert and THN feels little artistic license in jazzing up the planet wouldn’t have gone amiss.

JOHN CARTER has that classic blockbuster flaw of style over content and limits Taylor Kitsch’s acting range to wistful and smouldering gazes into the middle distance whilst he chokes on the chunks of ham which pass for dialogue. The script even reduces the respected Dominic West (excluding PUNISHER: WAR ZONE) to a pantomime villain whilst Lynn Collins’ Martain princess, Dejah Thoris, is a typically trite and patronising attempt at female empowerment. Fun at times, baffling at others and certainly instantly forgettable JOHN CARTER is an uninspiring blow to what could’ve been a really excellent sci-fi adventure. Despite a few cool scenes and a trickster ending (that will nearly fool you into thinking the film was better than it was), JOHN CARTER is an apathetic actioner that is only occasionally rousing. No doubt a film of this magnitude will do fairly well at the box-office purely because of it’s scale and momentum but time will tell and THN reckons JOHN CARTER will worthily fade into obscurity.

    JOHN CARTER is released in UK cinemas 9th March.

A BA in Media & an Art MA doesn’t get you much in today’s world – what it does give you however is a butt-load of time to watch a heck of a lot of movies and engage in extensive (if not pointless) cinematic chitter chatter. Movies and pop-culture have always been at the forefront of Joe’s interest who has been writing for THN since 2009. With self-aggrandised areas of expertise including 1970s New Hollywood, The Coen Brothers, Sci-Fi and Adam Sandler, Joe’s voyeuristic habits rebound between Cinematic Classics and Hollywood ephemera, a potent mix at once impressively comprehensive and shamelessly low-brow.

4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. lluukkee

    Mar 4, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    how did john carter copy off the arena scene from attack of the clones if the book was written 100 years ago?

  2. Nancy

    Mar 5, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    Good one guys, keep them coming!

  3. Thomas

    Apr 22, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    I agree with Lluukkee. AND btw, why the hell do you keep bringing up AVATAR when there is LITTLE in common with the two? Not to mention there was far more wit and character in this one than AVATAR could bother to muster??? I get it, we all have opinions, but damn. I think you were wanting impressive visuals more than anything. CGI and 3d films like AVATAR and others have spoiled us americans…
    Oh well.
    Oh and I loved the pair up of the couple and their chemistry and wit. The story was nice and the scenes awesome, but for me the CHARACTERS made the movie not the visuals. VIsuals are nice but its great to have what makes a story tick, characters.

  4. Tim

    May 2, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    The environment is supposed to be ‘bland’, dude. It’s friggin’ Mars, a dying planet, not a ‘verdant’ one. And actually, Cameron admitted his inspiration for Avatar came partly from the John Carter stories.
    You need to read more.

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